This is my first blog post using our new iPad. The iPad coolness factor is pretty high. Now I am eagerly waiting for them to come out with multitasking.
That’s all I had to say…carry on
by Sherry
I am a master at building walls. I have constructed a fortress to protect myself built one small brick at a time. I can shut you out before you even know what hit you.
Someone once asked me recently if I was going to tear down my wall. I replied I built it brick by brick and that’s the way it will come down.
When we have these walls up it’s hard for people to love us and it’s hard for us to love other people. The very walls that we have constructed to protect us as in fact hurting us. In our mind the walls are thick and sturdy and we are protected behind them. It’s only an illusion, the very thing we think protects us in fact does us more harm than good.
It seems everywhere I turn someone is talking about getting closer, taking off masks, peeling away layers, being vulnerable and building intimacy in relationships. One might think God might be trying to get through my thick head.
Does God’s grace provide room for walls? Can you really fully understand grace by sitting on a fence and peeking over a wall? Is it safe to be me? Can I be who I really am? Will you still love me dirt and all?
I’ve had these walls so long I’m not sure who I am anymore. Maybe it’s time to shed some of the bricks I’ve held onto for so long. How do you tear down the walls? Brick by brick or do they just come down all at once. Maybe there is somebody I might even like behind this wall? Who knows you might even like that somebody too.
For a long time lately I have been going through some spiritual struggles. These struggles stem from several situations in my life. They have made me take a few steps back and look at what I believe and why I believe what I believe.
I have described it as feeling like I’m straddling a fence, lately that fence seems to have narrowed into a tightrope. I’m teetering on top not balanced at all. On one side there is there is what I have thought to be true, rules to follow, things that you do if you are a good person, things not to do if you are a good person. There is guilt, shame, fear of sharing your true self, fear of rejection. On the other side there is freedom from the performance game. There is love, grace, forgiveness, no condemnation. There is freedom to be who you are and still be loved.
It’s like being on one side of the cross or the other. Law or Grace, I know which side my heart wants to be on but my head is still on the other side There is a part of me that wants the freedom but there is another part of me that keeps holding back. There is part of me that wants to be the good girl and part of me that wants to be free. There is part of me that wants to be open and real but part of me that holds back, for fear of rejection.
My fence has narrowed into a tightrope and I don’t know how much longer I can teeter before falling off. I’m afraid that when I do fall I may fall to the wrong side. I want to be free, I want to live my life with the knowledge that God loves me and from that knowledge I can love others but it is so hard to break free from everything you have thought to be true for so many years. On one side I have the known, the comfortable and on the other there is the unknown, and the uncomfortable. I am in the middle so very tired of the middle, afraid of falling….. wondering what it would be like to just jump, throw off all the old chains that have me bound and drown in the love of Jesus?
It seems that religion places a high degree of importance on doctrine. After all, having the correct doctrine is what sets them apart from the church across the street. Doctrine is not a bad word, which at its root means “a teaching.” Another, more formal, definition defines doctrine as applied to religion:
Doctrine is a codification of beliefs or “a body of teachings” or “instructions”, taught principles or positions, as the body of teachings in a branch of knowledge or belief system. continue reading…
I think many Christians are in the habit of accepting what someone has taught them or what they have heard a preacher say without ever asking the question, “Is that right?” There are many doctrines that are built around single verse that is taken out of context, without considering the intended audience, and sometimes without supporting verses elsewhere in the Bible. One such verse that is misused in that way is 1 John 1:9, but that isn’t the subject of this post. I have come to a place where I don’t take anything to granted when it comes to what I believe about God and the relationship He has invited me to participate in. Some of these teachings put Christians in spiritual bondage and living under condemnation, others don’t go that far, but they do cause people to miss the point. This post is about the latter. continue reading…
Bill Waterson
I had an interesting time on my way to work yesterday. I was driving in the left lane listening to a Paul White sermon on my iPod. I heard a horn and looked to my right and a man in a pickup truck was yelling that I had a flat tire. I waved at him and pulled over into a parking lot to have a look. It was the right rear and it was very low, but not totally flat. So I decided to drive up to a combination McDonalds and gas station a couple of miles up the road and put some air in it.
I pulled up the air pump, which charges a dollar and put some air in it. The air leaked out just about as fast as I put it in. I wasn’t going to get out of this the easy way, so I said thank you Lord and proceeded to take all of the crap out of my trunk so I could get to my spare. About this time a car pulled up and parked one space over from me and the woman driver and her male passenger, an older gentleman, get out and start to air up one of their tires. He made some passing comment about my flat tire; I acknowledged him and kept working.
I was pulling the tire out of the trunk when the woman came up to me and tried to hand me one of those “Awake!” pamphlets that are put out by the Jehovah’s Witnesses…I didn’t take it. I have had long debates with a JW that came to my home on several occasions, but I really didn’t feel like a debate yesterday as I had a tire to change and I was late for work. She asked me if I had a lot of stress at work. It’s one of those door-opening lines that they use, but I didn’t play along. I told her that I didn’t suffer from stress, which is the truth. She looked kind of shocked and took a little different tack asking me if I knew what the bible had to say about drinking. I told her that I did indeed know what it said.
I was very nice and polite with her as she was with me. She told me to have a nice day and her and the gentleman got in the car and left. They didn’t ask me if I needed any help, nor did they offer any. I didn’t really need any help, but there is more to the story. Just after they left a man in an old beat-up pickup truck pulled in and parked a couple of spaces over about the time I was trying to find the tool that operated the cheesy scissors jack that comes with the car. He told me that he had a jack in his truck that would make my tire change go much quicker and easier. I said, OK.
He pulled a floor jack out of the back and proceeded to help me change my tire, which indeed went very quickly and we also had a pleasant conversation in the process. As he was putting his jack back in his truck and I was putting the junk back in mine, I asked him if I could give him a little something for his time. He just smiled and told me no. I find it telling that the man that helped me never mentioned God, Jesus or religion, but I sensed the love of God more in him than the ones that were trying to convert me to their religion.
I have had the blessing of helping others change their flat tires and often felt guilty that I didn’t *use* the opportunity to tell them about Jesus. That’s what religion will do to you. But the truth is, if they don’t see God in you, then your words are worthless. If they do see His love expressed through you, then words aren’t really necessary. I’m not saying that you should never tell someone about Jesus, but if what you do for, or say to, someone is only a witnessing tool, then it’s not an expression of love.
When you know that you are not condemned, you will have victory over sin not a license to sin.
The law demands righteousness from spiritually bankrupt men, grace provides righteousness to spiritually bankrupt men.
He carried my sins, so that I might carry his righteousness.
He was cursed, so that I might be blessed.
He was naked at the cross, so that I might be clothed with righteousness.
Did Jesus commit sin so that he might become sin? Do I commit righteousness so that I might become righteousness?
Law says the ten commandments must be kept, grace says Jesus kept them so you could be blessed.
The law says that by no means I will forget your sins, grace says that by no means I will remember your sins anymore.
The law says take your shoes from off your feet, the ground you stand upon is holy; grace says bring to me the robe of righteousness, the ring, the fatted calf and shoes for my sons feet because my son who was lost is found, he has come home again.
Law is looking for slaves, grace is looking for sons.
Paul White
